[HEADLINES READ: EGYPT IS SINKING; LONDON IS BURNING; ROME IS ROTTING; LONG LIVE VIENNA!]
July 27, 2003, 23:19

{dawn}
“one day a vitamin melted and that’s what it looked like”
brunch with OPRAH, the TOP CAT, the primary colors, the WITCH DOCTOR and THE DUCHESS

TOP CAT: “I’ve got the reputation of being one of the fastest men alive.”
ALEX VIENNA: “WAIT…let me ask you a question: that's been your breath I've been smelling? I just wish someone would bury that old dying horse already.”
(top cat is embarassed and shifts his eyes into his coffee cup)
(top cat leaves without excuse)
OPRAH: Oh! Oh! Mr. Vienna, how divine, your words make my chest heave; not unlike my first passionate experiences of sexual desire…those cold fall evenings…my my Mr. Vienna, my my. 
[TELEPHONE WIRE:]
S.S: "No, he’s in a meeting, of course not. Yes. No. goddamn, you are bloodthirsty.” 
[CLASSIFIED:]
Urgent phonecall from tape worm farm asking for my assistance. They have been infiltrated by German Zeppelins. All employees scream in mercy. Headlines blink [S.O.S.]
[TRANSMISSION DESTROYED:]
ALEX VIENNA: “I must be off, my beauty queens, I am expected at the unveiling of California falling into the ocean. You know, start the whole thing over again. But This time; do it right.”

{midday}
The Skunk has escaped from the Jewish debutantes. He spins my gypsy top to only find minefields of [PATTERN AGAINST USER:] We decode a message from 1992 and we are instructed to eat from the pockets of ancient kings and immortal czars. Before we can accept, we are blown away in the breeze. 

[BENEATH THE SECRET EYELIDS:]
Skunk Reinke operates without proper insurance procedure. Protocol Karma Agents give him 24-48 hours to obtain the proper credentials or he will be sent to the slave plantations of Bosnia to be de-skunked and run over with the rest of his comrads. Before we could file for a settlement, I found my throat was enflamed with the egg sack of: 
[CLASSIFIED:]
EXHIBIT A: rust moth. 
EXHIBIT B: Bike chains left out in the rain. 
EXHIBIT D: Dead leaves on the dirty ground. 
EXHIBIT C: The mirror image of modern art. 

{sundown}
After eel hunting with Marissa Burke and The Skunk for hours, we all decided that animals shouldn’t be left in cages. In this spring of luxury, I took all of the springs out of the mattress and gave all of my retirement money away. I later bartered over the life of an endangered bear with some bounty hunters. I offered them a pot of old chinese glue and 12 of my 22 teeth. Didn’t they know the karma police would be on them with staple guns? 
In an instant. 

{dusk}
smashing gunfight with the pope and matadors. 
The Duchess dubbed me a “modern martyr of animal aesthetics.” 

{twilight}
[BULLHORN:]
GENERAL WILLIAM S.BURROUGHS: I say, my lords, he has done fair service, And slain in fight many of your enemies: How full of valour did he bear himself In the last conflict, and made plenteous wounds.

SENATOR LEE HARVEY OSWALD: To overcome him: in that beastly fury He has been known to commit outrages, And cherish factions: 'tis inferr'd to us, His days are foul and his drink dangerous. 

BOARD OF REPUGNANCY: We are for law: VIVA! VIVA! VIENNA!
[END VIENNAGRAM:]