[STRIPE THE BLACKEST WITH THE WHITER:] -or- [LIGHTERS EXPLODE IN DRYERS:]
August 22, 2003, 23:59

{dawn}
wash out the sick and fickle grey from the bluest skies
with dedication that would dam even the most desolate Russian swampland. 
[TECHNIQUE:]
Check into The Coma Cathedral hotel.
Pricey? Yes. But vices can’t be beat.
It is at this very moment of arrival that I notice the very same vices of my peers and contemporaries: 
an overall longing for a lost youth. 

Had it even happened? 

Shall the salt of the earth only melt away?
Is this the ignoble end? Or only the apprehensive first steps?
Take care, rationalize your regrets, my generation of convicts.

Despite my preternatural approach to social ambivalence, I embrace all defects and downfalls. All for Vienna. Mark your Calendars. 

{midday}
I devour a batch of suckling tarantula eggs. I failed to notice the Arabic gum and feel it’s deafening paunch paralyze my Adam’s apple. 
The room splits with egg shell resonance.
St. peters gate? Michigan state? It’s the flashing red button 
I transfixiate into a white hot coma. The moths bid ‘Bon voyage.’
[CLASSIFIED:]
The show was a gas in the Cpt. Cuteheart sewing circle and pub.
Good old Jack had really outdone himself this time, hiring french dancing girls that laughed on command, remote controlled digesting machines and rare Muslim ostriches to serve drinks:
[TECHNIQUE:]
(the bartender sends whatever drink you order via the bird’s throat passage/airway, the ostrich would then gag up the contents; ice and all.)
Then again, when that bird hocked up my mistress’ dry martini inside the gondola, I could almost, just almost, see the pain in it’s heart. 

[CLASSIFIED:]
As we sifted down the Nile River, little jackie’s game of ‘who’s who’ ended with a blow to the social groin. The karma police apprehended the rare birds, white face powder, eyeless whale bones, flame throwers, a vile of Judy Garland’s blood and 260 xylophones. 

The tear gas tycoons sold all their stocks and invested in night lights. 

“You’re a real detective now, junior”

{sundown}
[BULLHORN:]
Emergency press conference on ‘Incidence and prevalence of Egotism’.

Marshal Law, MD: EGOTISM is a rising clinical disease in the general population. With increased life expectancies in the United States and Europe, there is also an increased incidence of Narcissism. This is principally evidenced by the continuing rise in the number of total autopsy’s performed each year. Developments in karmacology offer new approaches to joint treatment. 
“Modifying agents” can help slow down personality breakdown and rebuild joint tissues. However, it is important to gain a clear understanding of the disease before choosing an appropriate treatment.

Endless Enigma: Dr. Law, please discuss the incidence and prevalence of this ISM. Who is at risk for the disease? 

Marshal Law, MD: The prevalence of EGOTISM is increasing significantly throughout the world. 
Enemy: Ego affects an estimated 20.7 million Americans, most of whom are older than 45. However, almost everyone is at risk. In both men and women, there is a significant prevalence of degenerate ego gene. More men than women suffer from Egotism before the age of 50. More women than men are affected by Egotism of the liver after the age of 50. It is important that clinicians have a non-operative (N.A.) treatment regimen for Enemy: Ego because 90% of all patients with the degenerate Egotism genome can be treated nonoperatively.

USA TODAY: Dr. Caulfield, is there a difference between Europe and the United States in terms of the incidence of Egotism and the type of patients who present with symptoms?

Holden Caulfield, MD, PhD: I do not see a difference between the two groups of patients. The incidence or prevalence of Ego-related cases has not increased, but diagnostic tools have improved so that Enemy: Ego can be detected before patients are symptomatic. If physicians recognize morphological changes associated with the patients psyche, a correct therapy can be provided in the preliminary stages of the disease. Prevention must be a part of the strategy chosen for patients with the Ego genome. The type of ‘ISM’ is not different in the United States or Europe because these populations have a similar culture and way of life. However, there is a difference between the type of ego that men and women may develop. For example, it is common for women to develop…oh look the children have arrived!

(CHILDREN OF THE CENTIPEDE arrive with black eyes and pigtails)

Debutante Dear: Our kids, god bless them, have spent the entire block of ‘free time’ this week working on the perfect slogan for the Enemy: Ego campaign. Or what would a cat say, children, that’s right what would a cat say? Perfect….yes that’s right “puuurrrrrrrfect”

Now here’s the ‘puuurrrrfect’ poem, submitted by Julius, our “minority” student:

“go away, Ego” by Julius R.
Feed your ego everyday
It will be hungry
Feed your ego everyday
It will never go away

(board applauds)
(Debutante Dear drops her silk kerchief)
(fragrant stamens whither and peel away) 
(Dear dismisses her own skin in rotten entrails) 
(The audience gasps)
(the oily appendix disguise reveals Debutante Dear is really the infamous Portuguese Widowmaker)
(the senator shows off his gun)
(The CHILDREN OF THE CENTIPEDE shed their epidermis to reveal they are only Imperial Violets)
(The Violets instantly bloom) 
(Thin showers of spores spray out in unison)
(The Portuguese Widowmaker commandeers the conference)
"In the name of Narcissism!"

{dusk}
The Patron Saint of Pheramone needs her eyes filled in.
Her follicle is the envy of all modern fossil fuels; and they make this well known by commanding huge clouds of aphrodisiac bombs over the city. 
The saint licks her lips like a kitten: 
“You’ve got to choose truce”

The bombs explode all over Salvation City. 
Women, children are devoured in the boiling vapor.
The statehouse divides into rubble. 
Beaches swell into degenerate wagon parking lots.
Mirrors scratch into screens of piano wire.
Blood sucking moths are deterred by pure Pheramone.
Choose truce.

{twilight}
we had a ruby watch, it was nothing much, to keep on hypnotizing 
the summer bulbs fade and donna dear sends me postcards from god
China men speak of a land 
where men ride centipedes and bloated termite queens 
Maybe in school, I’ll learn what that means
If every breath is a gift, then everyday is a holiday
As every rational conclusion points:
Whenever business is pleasure, Vienna lives forever 

[END VIENNAGRAM:]